A few months back my best friend and I took a trip to a local sunflower field and did a little “photoshoot”.
Being a girl with anxiety and a very low self-esteem definitely has its set backs. I wasn’t always like this…in middle school I didn’t give a shit about what others thought of me. I was the girl with skunk hair wearing bronzer that was way too dark for me and a black tutu around my waist. It was an awkward phase and a little embarrassing to look back on.
When 8th grade ended, so did the phase. A blessing and a curse I would say. I’m glad I grew out of it, but I feel like when this happened I lost a part of me. I’m not saying the heavy eyeliner and “Rawr” thing was who I was. I was just trying to figure it out at my own pace (and enjoying it). In high school I wanted to be like everyone else, and when you are trying to be like everyone else, you lose sight of who you are.
I was able to take a clear view in the mirror after graduation. All the “popular” girls had gone off to college and I was able to focus on me. Not only have I been able to discover who I am, but who my true friends are. I took these photos with my best friend. She has been there since grade school and I honestly don’t know what I would do without her. She encourages me to show my true colors to the world.
I think we need those type of people in our lives. The one’s that we have so much in common with, but celebrate our differences. The people we can be absolutely real with by sharing thoughts, ideas, and dreams. The friends that support us to live life as we want and to reach whatever goals we have.
I was hesitant about doing a “photoshoot”, because of who I am. The shy girl who doesn’t pose for a camera, because she’s afraid of what people will think. I decided to say “Fuck what other people think.” I am working on myself, and the only way to do this is to not be afraid.
We ended up having a wonderful afternoon and have more memories to look back on. As I allow myself to let go and have fun, the more I am enjoying life again.